This week, we bring you the second part of our article on ethical non-monogamy! Read the first part here!
Happy reading!
If this type of relationship seems complicated, it’s important to understand that all these simultaneous relationships have value. Of course, their dynamics vary, but ethical non-monogamy aims to deconstruct the idea that a romantic hierarchy should take precedence. Coming from a monogamous background, it may be difficult to imagine that within all these relationships, there isn’t a “preferred” partner. However, it’s about giving oneself the freedom to seek out different relationships to fulfill various romantic and sexual needs. Have you ever thought about it? Perhaps it’s a bit unrealistic to believe that one partner can meet every single aspect of our personality.
While many monogamous couples are satisfied with their relationship—and that’s great—polyamorous individuals will tell you that for them, each partner is loved and valued for who they are. Each relationship brings its own unique qualities, enriching their lives with love and experiences. Different connections meet different needs, and the value of those connections should not be measured or compared.
Isn’t it *too* complicated?
To that, I would answer that all human relationships are complicated in their own way. That’s why we talk about ethics, because these relational approaches are based on transparency and the consent of all parties involved. They function through carefully established agreements that serve as guidelines to ensure the respect of each person’s needs and boundaries. These relationships rely on key tools and skills such as ongoing communication and introspection. At the same time, these relationship styles celebrate autonomy, responsibility, and consideration. Truly, ethical non-monogamy shines through its intentions of kindness and fairness.
Going against societal norms and popular conceptions, polyamory serves as a reminder to take ownership of our emotions and relationships, and to shape them as a reflection of our authenticity. It gives us the opportunity to free ourselves from preconceived ideas about what love should be, and in my humble opinion, that’s a form of empowerment we could all draw inspiration from.
– This text was written by a student pursuing a bachelor’s degree in sexology.
*** Note: The term ethical non-monogamy is generally the most commonly used and recognized by the community. However, it is important to use this term with an understanding that non-monogamy is a historical practice found throughout various cultures and Indigenous nations, both past and present. Declaring today that our modern form of non-monogamy is ethical often erases the practices and intentions of other cultures and marginalized groups. These practices are ethical in their own way and carry deep personal, symbolic, and communal meanings, even if these groups do not use the same concepts to describe this phenomenon. Therefore, to avoid ethnocentrism, it is essential to remember the diverse cultural origins and legacies of non-monogamy.