This week, we bring you a two-part article on ethical non-monogamy, written by a sexology undergraduate student. Enjoy the read!
So, you’ve recently met someone who identifies as polyamorous? Here’s a little guide to help you better understand this controversial phenomenon that actually has the potential to teach us a lot about love and relationships.
What is polyamory?
Unlike open relationships, where the primary goal is often to seek sexual interactions outside the existing couple, polyamory focuses more on building romantic (and sexual) connections with multiple partners simultaneously.
It’s sometimes described as a practice, a philosophy, or even an orientation. One thing is certain: it’s a relationship style that is learned, built, and forms an integral part of the identity of those who practice it. After all, believing in its principles involves committing to specific relational values and convictions, as well as advocating for social recognition and legal rights usually reserved for monogamous couples.
A quick historical aside
The polyamorous community is strongly queer, neurodivergent, and popular within BDSM sexualities (bondage, discipline, submission, domination). In this context, the umbrella term "ethical non-monogamy" is often used to illustrate the wide range of polyamorous realities.
What polyamory is not
Polyamory is distinct from polygamy, as the latter occurs in a marital and ethnocultural context. Ethical non-monogamy is not governed by religious frameworks but comes with its own set of codes to follow.
While the “throuple” (or triad)—a relationship involving three individuals who are all romantically involved with each other—is the most represented polyamorous configuration in popular culture, there is actually a rich spectrum of relational nuances and configurations.
Too abstract?
Let’s take the example of person A and person B in a polyamorous relationship: at the same time, person A is also in a relationship with person C, while person B is seeing person D and maybe even person E. In this scenario, this group of individuals forms a “polycule”: they are not all in romantic relationships with each other, but they share common partners and may even have partners outside this group. Ethical non-monogamy is a continuum, and each person involved has the freedom to configure their relationships as they see fit—it’s all about self-identifying with a particular relational model.
Find part 2 on our blog next week!
Is your partner far away? Why not try a Bluetooth-controlled toy?