In a society where everything is always moving faster, slow sex invites us to slow down and rediscover a more conscious, connected sexuality. But what does it really mean? We take a closer look at an approach that is gaining increasing acceptance.
What is Slow Sex?
The term slow sex was popularized by Diana Richardson, author of the book Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm. This approach emphasizes full awareness, emotional connection and the pleasure of exploring every sensation, far from the automatic search for orgasm.
In contrast to fast-paced, performance-driven sexuality, slow sex advocates a gentle, immersive, non-linear approach. It's not just about slowing down the movements, but entering fully into the present moment, with oneself and with the other.
Why Slow Sex?
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Deeper, more intense sexuality By taking the time to feel, every thrill intensifies, every breath becomes an intimate language.
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Less stress, more pleasure Without performance pressure, the body relaxes, the mind opens up, and pleasure unfolds differently.
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Better communication in the couple Slow sex invites you to talk, to listen, to dare to express your desires and limits in a climate of trust.
How to practice Slow Sex?
Here are a few concrete, sensory ways to experience slow sex in an intimate moment:
1. Accept slowness... really
Instead of rushing to the erogenous zones, explore first the rest of the body.
Example: start by grazing the skin on your arms, back or stomach with fingertips or a sensual feather duster. Breathe with your partner. Lay your hands still, just to feel the warmth of your partner's body. This "still" moment can be incredibly powerful.
2. Create the right atmosphere
Dim the lights. Choose a slow, sensual playlist.
Example: a bath for two, without talking, where we soap each other slowly, like an aquatic dance. Or light a massage candle, let it melt, then gently pour the warm oil onto the skin... drop by drop.
3. Look and breathe together
Before even touching, sit facing each other, clothed or not, and breathe at the same rhythm for a few minutes.
Example: Breathe in together, simply touch hands or knees, and let desire rise without rushing it. This tantra-inspired ritual promotes authentic connection.
4. Explore differently through touch
Abandon mechanical gestures. Use your hands, your mouth, sensory accessories.
Example: use a lubricant and let your hands glide slowly over your torso, thighs, hips. Take several minutes exploring an area before changing. Or use a soft vibration toy on less "classic" areas like the hollow of the kidneys or the inside of the wrist.
5. Forget the destination
Here, orgasm is an eventuality, not a goal.
Example: Take 30 minutes to explore each other's bodies... without penetration. Explore the pleasure of receiving without having to give. Leave room for sighs, laughter and silence.
Slow Sex, An Intimate Revolution
Adopting slow sex means making the choice to slow down to feel better. It means accepting that sexuality is also a form of meditation for two (or solo), a space of freedom where every moment is enough.
By restoring the value of slowness, touch and listening, we (re)discover a rich, full and liberating sexuality.
To go further: Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm - Diana Richardson Or explore our online store for a full dive into this transformative approach.